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It can be frustrating when someone you care about just doesnโt see things you way you do. Sometimes, you might wish you could grab them by the shoulders and shake some sense into them, but even then…
Would it make much of a difference?
This can be especially frustrating if you’re walking a spiritual path, but the other people in your life are happily living in their own worlds, and lacking any morsel of curiosity about what you’ve learned.
You might find yourself thinking, ‘How on Earth do they not get it?’ Likewise, you might feel frustrated when someone thinks you’re just a crazy conspiracy theorist for seeing the world a little differently than they do, or when they think that meditation is just for hippies.
These unconscious people can be infuriating, right? But what if they are actually some of our best teachers, and they’re here to teach us a very important lesson?
When Family and Friends Donโt Believe Your Spiritual Journey
I’m not going to lie. One of the biggest challenges I’ve encountered along my spiritual path is not so much the path itself, but trying to communicate that path to others.
I’ve learned that most people just aren’t into it. For random strangers I will never see again, who cares? But for my closest friends and family back home, that lack of understanding or curiosity about what I’ve experienced can sting.
I found this to be especially an issue during my first year-long solo backpacking trip. Upon returning, my friends didn’t really ask any questions at all. At the beginning this was frustrating because I’ve learned so much, experienced so much, but I couldn’t share it with the people I considered to be so close with.
Then came a 5-year-long solo backpacking trip, where I spent a significant amount of time studying various spiritual modalities such as shamanic healing in South America. Again, most of my friends back home didn’t care. They thought that I was just some hippy hanging in the jungle taking drugs.
And what’s worse, they wouldn’t hear the other side of it. All my wild experiences, such as encounters with spirits, astral projection, and witnessing things most people would never believe, went unacknowledged.
“Yeah… Sure, that happened. Uh-huh, they were spirits, not hallucinations… Those people didn’t get healed, they just tripped out, these are drugs, Daniel, maybe go easy on the liquid-based substances.”
When I try to tell them about experiences like astral projection solely via meditation, they just think I fell asleep and had a dream, or believed I was on drugs… What about the multiple UFOs I’ve seen? Nope… just a shared hallucination. Like really? That’s your best explanation, a shared hallucination?
But something dawned on me that flipped the script. Why do I care what friends and family think of my journey. There are plenty of people all over the globe I’ve talked with who are on the same page, so why am I still trying to convince people that what I’ve experienced is real instead of being nonjudgmental?
If you’re on a journey into consciousness, you will probably encounter the same thing. Maybe not with your best friends, but with people in your life who just won’t understand.
So, what do you do about this ignorance at best, and gaslighting at worst?
The Need to Prove Youโre Right Comes From the Ego
In truth, the frustration you feel when other people just don’t see things the way you do isn’t about them. We love to think that they’re the problem, but this desire to be acknowledged or validated actually indicates an issue with us…
The perfectly healed, healthy, spiritually evolved person would simply not care what others think about them. But if we’re feeling triggered when people don’t believe our spiritual journeys or think we’re crazy, then it’s because there is more work to do.
And we can’t ignore that work or pretend to be the better person without spiritually bypassing.
The desire to prove yourself or need others to understand you is a reflection of your ego. That inner voice whispers (or perhaps shouts), โIโve grown. I know better. Iโve seen things they havenโt. Just let me break you out of this damned prison of ignorance so that you can see the world the way I do!”
Maybe you are genuine and maturely just trying to help. But when that voice turns into judgment, a superiority complex stops being wisdom and becomes another form of spiritual ego.
Let’s face it, the ego loves to be right. Especially if we have a wound, we feel like we need to prove ourselves, or have people understand. Itโs normal to want to share whatโs meaningful to you. But when you start feeling agitated because someone doesnโt share your perspective, it has nothing to do with truth, but more with validation.
You Canโt Wake People Up (And Thatโs Not Your Job)
One of the hardest pills to swallow on the spiritual path is this: You canโt force people to wake up. You might have insights that feel like gold, but that doesnโt mean others are ready (or willing) to receive them.
Thatโs okay though. Everyoneโs walking their own path, with their own lessons, in their own time. This is something that we need to respect, and let people take their own journeys, even if our intentions are good.
Trying to make someone see what you see, especially when theyโre not open, is like shouting into a closed door. And if weโre honest, the desire to ‘wake someone up’ often stems from our own discomfort.
Thereโs a kind of spiritual arrogance that says, โI know more, so itโs my responsibility to enlighten others.โ But what if your real responsibility is to accept them for who they are? Funny that showing unconditional acceptance without needing to ‘educate’ others is true spiritual practice, which is why most of us don’t do it.
If someone has a different political view, we shun them. If they have a different values, we dissaprove of them. If they have a differentspiritual perception or world view, we think they’re close-minded.
Sometimes, the highest expression of love is to let someone believe what they believe without needing to change them. That doesnโt mean you silence yourself, though. It just means you let go of the need to convince. You speak your truth when itโs called for and stay silent when itโs not.
Stop trying to be someoneโs teacher and instead become a safe space where people feel loved, not lectured. Paradoxically, thatโs what often inspires real change.
Spiritual Communication (When They Donโt Speak Your Language)
Spiritual ideas donโt always land the way we hope, especially if weโre speaking from a place of frustration. And let’s be real. Telling someone to wake up mid-debate probably wonโt help your case because you are going to trigger their defenses. Now they’re even more likely not to give a crap what you say.
That means meeting people where they are, not where you wish they were. It means learning to speak their emotional language, and most importantly, listening more than you speak.
But this doesnโt mean you water down your truth.
Instead of trying to win someone over in a conversation and potentially having an argument in the process, you show up intending to understand their perspective. That’s what the true spiritual masters are made of. They will listen to you crap on about shit, and listen intently without judgement.
An ability many of us soul seekers could learn.
If your goal is to create a real connection, not just drop truth bombs or wake people up. Sometimes, youโll need to accept that the conversation you want to have just isnโt possible right now.
Loving People You Donโt Agree With
Hereโs the challenge that humbles every spiritual seeker eventually: Can you love someone without needing to change them? Can you honor their path, even when it looks completely backwards to you?
In theory, yes, it’s easy.
But when the real test comes, you might find yourself getting sucked into resentment, unable to find the right balance between being compassionate and loving, but also honoring your emotions.
Especially when people are assholes about it and rub it in your face, it takes some practice to figure this one out because it can be a little tricky. If someone is triggering you, you can’t just suck it up because that forms the shadow. Likewise, you don’t want to blow up at them because that’s not a solution either.
You need to feel how you feel, but recognize if it’s influencing your behavior.
Therefore, drop the urge to be right and choose to be real enough to stay open, grounded, and heart-centered, even when your opinions clash.
What We Learn From This
There has been a lot of ‘taking the higher path’ talk in this article, by saying that we should respect where everyone’s at, and be fine not needing any validation or to talk about our own lives.
But there’s also a reality we must meet.
If you’re on a very separate path from the people around you, then maybe you should fully embrace that path and start connecting with individuals who share similar interests. After all, you don’t need to stick with people you feel you’ve outgrown, just to be the bigger person.
In my life, at least, here is the dynamic that has naturally played out.
I still keep in touch with my old friends when I’m back in Australia, and like to catch up and spend time with them sometimes. These occasions are still enjoyable, but they’re just that… some fun for old times’ sake. So I learn to recognize this.
When I spend time with these people, I don’t try to change them. I don’t inject my own beliefs into conversations, I just let myself enjoy the connection for what it is.
But in saying that, these connections don’t feel meaningful to me anymore. My connection to these people has naturally distanced as we’ve gone our own ways. Now, I gravitate towards people and communities that I do resonate with, as of course, I enjoy being around people who do understand me.
So, whether you think this is selfish or not, I think it’s a good balance.
Don’t burn bridges and allow yourself to simply enjoy the company of people who were a big part of your life, but also honor the process of moving towards people who meet you where you’re at.
Sadly, people in our lives often have an expiration date, and when we don’t feel there is any value in seeing those people again, we need to trust that too and let connections. Not to say we must do this abruptly or prematurely, but you’ll find it will probably be a natural shift as you gravitate towards people who meet you where you’re at.
