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Being funny is a natural part of some peopleโs personalities, but for others, it doesnโt come so easily. If you werenโt brought up in a household where humor was a normal part of it, youโre more likely to make people cringe than laugh, but thatโs okay!
Everyone can develop a great sense of humor, and see the world in a playful way that facilitates laughter. You can learn how to deliver great jokes by making some tweaks to your perception.
After all, humor is a perception. You can land great jokes, but unless you see life through the right lens, youโre not going to have anything to say.
In this article, weโre going to look at humor from a holistic perspective, so you can view life in a funnier way that promotes genuine amusement and laughter.
Can You Improve Your Sense of Humor?
I must confess, Iโm not a very funny person. Iโm not a stand-up comedian or some naturally funny guy who lights up each room he sets foot in.
So what qualifies me to write an article about improving your sense of humor?
Starting at the baseline as a glue-sucking kid who regularly scared people away, my humor muscle was nonexistent. I was depressed, traumatized, and certainly not the sort of person who would make jokes. God forbid, when I did, I regretted it.
But life has changed a lot for me since then.
When I began to see the light in the world, the joy began to radiate in the form of humor. The dense cloud of despair was slowly replaced by a playful tickle.
Nowadays, humor is a natural part of my life mostly because it feels good and has a positive impact on my social relationships. Not all of my jokes hit, nor am I always in a playful mood, but Iโve learned how to bring joy into the lives of others by approaching this skill set in a slightly different way.
While a sense of humor comes naturally to some people as theyโre raised in environments that hone this skill set, everyone can become funnier.
How to Be Funnier
What Iโm going to teach you in this article are not jokes, as delivering punch lines just wonโt cut it anymore. Please donโt do this staged crap thatโs plaguing the internet. You wonโt get along with people.
Humor is complicated. Itโs extremely individual and unique. If youโre trying to act a certain way or say certain things, itโs probably not going to translate well. Itโs important to be congruent with your style โ With the humor you find funny.
It will be awkward to some people, it will be lame to others. But it will come across as authentic โ And this is what moves the needle.
No style of humor will work for everyone. Thereโs no right or wrong way to be funny.
Improving your sense of humor revolves around your ability to see the world more lightly. Once you see the world in a way that makes you laugh instead of cry, then all you need to do is effectively deliver those ideas to other people.
Why Is It Good to Be Funny?
Humor is important as it simply makes your life more fun, and it certainly makes your interpersonal relationships more fun. Being a funny person reflects well on you, and shows that you donโt take life too seriously.
People want to be around others who make them feel good. Therefore, when you make people laugh, they instinctively know youโre good for them and seek out your company. By making people laugh, they will associate good feelings with you. Furthermore, when we laugh with someone, we are also communicating trust and comfort.
With that said, there have been plenty of studies showing us that laughter has physical and mental health benefits, so thereโs no real downside to amusement and humor.
Understanding the Foundations of Humor
To understand how to improve your sense of humor, we need to look at the foundations of humor. Learning the foundations of humor gives you a better view of what humor is, instead of shooting in the dark.
Letโs look at some of the core elements of what makes people funny.
Be Authentic With Your Style
Humor is subjective. What is funny to some people might be rude or ignorant to others. Some people might resonate with dark humor, while others prefer playful banter.
No two people will find the same joke exactly alike, which is why you need to develop a style of humor that you resonate with.
As long as you are genuine with a style of humor that you find amusing, your humor is going to come across as authentic. Thereโs nothing worse than being a try-hard and making jokes that are clearly out of touch with your character. People will feel the inconsistency.
Everyone develops their own weird and wacky styles, so find what works for you and put it on steroids.
Use a style that comes the most naturally to you, and build upon that style. Donโt be someone youโre not to be funny.
Develop a Lens of Humor
Iโm sure youโve met people who just always have something to say.
Even if their jokes arenโt funny, they constantly make them. Thatโs because of their lens. They see the world in a silly way where everything is funny.
This shows you that there is always something funny that can be perceived at every given moment. The humor is already there, you just need to find it.
Developing an eye for humor is a perception, while delivering humor is a skill.
If you want to improve your sense of humor, itโs going to be much easier if you get into the right state of mind. Once you have a buzz on the inside, itโs going to leak on the outside, and that buzz is contagious.
Stop Seeking Validation
You behave the way you do because you are stuck behind a wall of filters. You seek validation from others, which prevents you from being your true, authentic self.
You worry about what you should and shouldnโt say, which tightens you up. Itโs difficult to express yourself fully when youโre perceiving through a filter because youโre worried about sounding stupid, being rude, or being politically incorrect. Ultimately, youโre afraid of being disapproved of.
You need to strike a balance.
If you have no filter, you might cross a line. But itโs just as bad when you have too many filters on and prevent yourself from attempting to make a joke at all โ Even if youโre contriving something genuinely funny.
If you were once shy or insecure, you may still have these filters. Itโs not that youโre not funny, your hit ratio is low because youโre not swinging. The stakes are too high, so you donโt try.
The only way to get over this fear of disapproval is to be disapproved of.
Therefore, stop trying to impress people โ aim to impress yourself. You can only desensitize from this fear by putting yourself out there and failing. The more you fail, the easier it will become because you realize that a bad joke isnโt the end of the world.
Practice Makes Perfect
You will gradually improve your sense of humor by practicing banter in social situations.
Humor is a muscle, and the only way to get better at it is by doing it! By doing it, youโre going to suck at the start. Thatโs okay, itโs a normal part of the feedback loop.
Try to think about how you can craft jokes, funny ideas, and witty statements using the setting and situation that youโre in right now. Constantly think about how you can contrive amusing mental images and thoughts out of the hand of cards youโre given.
Build this mental muscle, and try to make yourself laugh on the inside. This will probably be a slow process at the beginning, but once you get a roll happening, it will become easier and easier to amuse yourself.
Try to loosen up and be resourceful. Lightness opens to creativity. Through creativity, you improve your sense of humor and find that it starts coming out much more naturally.
Tweaking Your Sense of Humor
Now that weโve looked at some of the essentials to create the foundation of your funny bone, itโs time to look at tweaking your sense of humor.
Tweaking is the process of actively improving your sense of humor by engaging the feedback loop, reflecting, and modeling after other people.
Here are some things to note.
Be Observant of Humor
Generally become more observant of social interactions, and see how other people do it. Pay attention to what works and what doesnโt work for people. Observe situations when someone says something funny or when people break into fits of laughter.
Perhaps someone said something witty within the context of the conversation. Otherwise, somebody might have delivered a great anecdote that drew others into it. Was it intentional or unintentional? Was it situational, or something they have probably said before?
Are people laughing because other people are laughing, and they donโt want to be the odd one out? Donโt copy and paste jokes that people get a good response from, but keep an ear out for what fondles peopleโs funny bones.
Reflect on Your Jokes
The thought of sitting around thinking about a joke you made might seem lame, but we all do it. If you make a public joke that bombs, youโre probably going to be thinking about why it sucked to avoid it happening again.
If your joke is great, itโs going to make you feel good, and youโll probably make more jokes like that in the future.
Reflect on your jokes and spend some time thinking about what could be improved upon. Compare your jokes and gestures to other peopleโs and how they were received. Think about what was different about them. Do you notice any patterns in your humor?
The more you pay attention, observe, and analyze humor in every social interaction you have, the quicker you will put the pieces together and improve your sense of humor.
Incorporate Other Styles of Humor Into Your Own
Donโt copy other peopleโs humor styles because it wonโt be authentic, but do incorporate elements that work for others. Thereโs probably at least one person you know of who just really hits the spot for you.
Whether this person is a celebrity, TV character, or politician (after all, many are clowns), pay attention to their style of humor. Try modeling after them and see if you can pull off certain elements if it feels right for you.
Some things to take note of are:
- What sort of humor does the person have? Is it light, dark, goofy, subtle, random?
- How often do they make jokes? Do they seamlessly weave in amusing statements occasionally or often make blunt, obvious jokes?
- What sort of jokes do they make? Are the jokes dark, light, goofy, or dry?
- How do they deliver those jokes? Think about timing, mannerisms, eye contact, if they use emphasis, etc.
Tips to Be Funnier
Now that weโve gotten all the boring stuff out of the way, we can get into the practical suggestions to apply immediately.
Here are some things that you should consider when youโre learning to become a funnier person.
Aim to Make Yourself Laugh First
You have probably encountered people who drop awful jokes, but since theyโre so invested in it, everyone finds it amusing.
People get drawn into that silly energy. They arenโt laughing at the joke or comment, theyโre laughing with the person who made it.
The game is really to make yourself laugh. Once you make yourself laugh, the energy is contagious and other people will start laughing too.
When you amuse yourself and put your heart into it, your body language, mannerisms, gestures, tone, and all the little bits and pieces will be congruent with that humor.
The result?
You become much more charismatic. Instead of trying too hard, youโre showing others that youโre having fun. Therefore, if you genuinely find the joke youโre making funny, it will probably be received well.
Establish Comfort and Loosen Up
Everyone is a comedian around their best friends because they are comfortable.
They know that they wonโt be judged, so they can let loose and be themselves. Thatโs why you should aim to establish comfort with everyone you meet, and it will be much easier to be yourself.
Rule of thumb: Act like youโre around your good mates.
If you are comfortable around the person and are having a great old time, naturally, youโre going to make more jokes. Mostly, itโs because you donโt have filters around your good friends. You just say things that are funny to you, and know that nobody is going to judge you for it.
Make Your Sense of Humor Subtle
For me, the humor that makes people laugh the most is the type of humor that is very subtle and seems like Iโm not deliberately trying to be funny.
When I say something that I think is funny in a regular conversation without emphasizing it, pointing to it, or giving it any special attention, it gives humor the touch of authenticity.
Everyone is used to clowns, and letโs face it, the age of clowning is over. Blown-up and highly emphasized jokes make you seem less skilled at making people laugh. If you have to drumroll up a joke, youโre trying too hard.
Being a little subtle is the way to go.
Slide jokes seamlessly into the conversation like you slide into your crushโs DMs. When youโre subtle, sometimes the joke might fly right over peopleโs heads, but thatโs okay because youโre not looking for attention.
Youโre carrying on like itโs a normal conversation. No funny faces, no changes in voice pitch, no dramatic gestures, just jokes that slot right into the conversation.
Donโt Force Jokes
Jokes should flow naturally when the moment is right. No matter how good you become at seeing through a lens of humor, you wonโt make other people laugh unless you learn to deliver it effectively.
Humor is situational, not pre-established. It should be thought up on the spot and delivered seamlessly.
If youโre trying to memorize jokes and rehearse clever phrases, youโre taking the wrong approach. Be witty and slightly silly, not stupid or obvious like youโre talking to children.
Practice delivering jokes in a range of situations, but keep it authentic. Donโt anticipate what youโre going to say because you donโt know what will happen, or where the conversation will go. When youโre trying to line up a joke, itโs not going to come across well.
You need to be in the moment.
Practice being quick, and if something witty pops up, deliver it. Remember that humor should be situational. The best jokes donโt take much effort, they just roll off the tongue when the timing is right.
Ride Your Social Status
Thereโs an interesting phenomenon where everyone laughs at the jokes of the cool guy despite how lame they are, and nobody laughs at the nerdy guy despite how good his jokes are.
Have you noticed this?
The reason why people laugh at high-value people is because they want to be liked by them. When someone has a lot of social status, other people tend to laugh with them to show their approval.
When someone is not respected, other people donโt feel any pressure to conform to be approved. As a result, they donโt entertain the jokes or make any effort to laugh at them.
So what does this say about you?
If you want people to laugh at your jokes, you need to be charismatic. You need to suck them in and be perceived as a high-value person who they want to make a good impression on.